TEA NIGHT is simultaneously a continuation of the meetings that a few of us held a couple years ago to discuss philosophical ideas and a resurrection of Dave's attempt to get us talking about the books we are reading. For now I will ask a different person each month to post an introduction to a topic and a brief rundown of the books on their mind. Then we will all comment. This can be our own NPR This American Life, our own Wall Street Journal editorial, our own digestion of life together. I hope that through this we can 1) continue to connect with each other, 2) broaden and develop each other's and our own reading and thoughts, and 3) leave a permanent account of how we are maturing.
So I'll begin this week with something on my mind. Traveling seems to clip a person's opportunity to form community, but at the same time travelers invigorate the communities they pass through like bees pollenating flowers. Is it worth it? Allison and I are hoping to spend our lives in as many places as God will take us, but coming off our year in China, what we want most is community. I wonder if we have wilted, I in Boston where I made few deep connections, and she in China. China for me was even worse because I again made deep connections like I did in college but had to severe them almost immediately. We plan to stay in Portland for three years so that we can feel established, make and benefit from some good nurturing friendships, and recharge before leaving again for a year long trip. Will three years be long enough? Will it end up being just even more painful than leaving China or Harding was?
I want to say that what makes community is similarity, but I actually believe it is variety that makes community worth while. I like the image of bees and flowers. What I got out of my years at Harding was exposure to what was outside of me: you guys. I had plenty of exposure to differences in Boston. What was missing was commitment I suppose.
So what makes community, what do we miss by missing community, and what is God's vision for his people and community?
I think I feel like I SHOULD stay put somewhere and commit to a community and wonder whether I can GET AWAY with traveling my whole life.
As for my reading these days:
Annie Dillard's An American Childhood has impressed me with her usual transformation of the mundane into the extraordinary. The best part of the book is the fact that she has awakened a deep desire I never had before to see Pittsburgh. She renders it with such beauty while still showing its crustiness that there is hope for my hometown popping out in my writing too.
W.D. Howells' The Rise of Silas Lapham has bored me and I've pretty much stopped it. However, it is interesting as an artifact of the growth of the middle class in America. I never could enjoy Realism until I realized it was an attempt to apply democracy to literature. These days I am struggling with whether democracy is a Christian idea or not.
Erik Larson's Devil in the White City about the intertwined stories of the architect who built Chicago's 1893 World Fair and the serial killer who preyed on its visitors I listened to on CD as I drove 23 hours from Boston to Arkansas this week. I was hoping that it would teach some Chicago history, but I knew if that failed, at least its morbidness would hold my attention and it did.
10 comments:
Community seems to take time to me. But that might be the result of my lack of initiating community around me. I've also picked up on the fact that I'm apart of many different communities in this one geographical location. I have a different level of involvement and commitment to each community. I think the communities we tend to find our deepest connection to are the ones we share our most important values with.
I'm not sure bee's return to a flower patch because of any particular values they share.
I've been to Pittsburg once. I do remember it being rather crusty and just because a city has lots of hills doesn't make it beautiful.
I would like to suggest separating your "thought" question of the month and your book reviews of the month into two separate posts.
Good suggestion. Did you get that Nic for next month?
I agree that variety is an important part of the value of community. Last week I heard someone say, "If you and I agree on everything, then one of us is unnecessary." Diversity is, in part, what makes community enjoyable. On the other hand, I think sharing something in common is the other side of that, and I think it's just as important.
A quote came to mind as you discussed your motivation for travel, by G. K. Chesterton: "The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." I think there is great value in traveling around and gaining a sense of community with people of various cultures around the world. I like the bee image you gave for this, I think that expresses something important—that we are changed and formed in a positive way by experiencing the "other." However, if that is all you do, isn't your community a mile wide and an inch deep? I've known people whose personality leads them to have many, many relatively shallow relationships and people who are more inclined to have very few, but very deep, relationships. Is one better than the other? My inclination is to say that balance is the answer. Let me use a Christian example. Jesus reached out to various groups of people and touched the lives of people from many different backgrounds. He also chose twelve, and three of those twelve, to spend most of his time with. His community was wide, but also deep. Perhaps that's the way to go?
On last thought on travel, and perhaps it could be applied to community as well: James Michener said, "If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home." That's kind of an indictment on me.
Travel does not always mean leaving your community. To those in the world, travel means leaving everything normal and comfortable and being alone or with a close set of friends. Family members can have this if we choose. We can travel to a new place and never connect to a Family; however, our Father created a Community that is worldwide. We should use it.
Most of the time, I travel to visit Friends. (I live in China, so if you want to know what some of my words mean, send an email to Joe and he’ll help.) There is a Family member in Tianjin, a city next to Beijing, who once lived in Ningbo. If I want to visit Beijing, I visit my friend. This is my community. We invite the whole Family in the city to spend time reading the Book and asking questions. This is such a joy that I have decided to return once or twice a year so they can ask questions and be encouraged in their young Lives. Beijing is wonderful and full of interesting places, but my favorite part of going is seeing my friends in Tianjin.
Not every place in this world is the same as Tianjin. If I do not know of any Family members where I am going, I use the Great Network of Friends to find contacts to help me find a Family to visit. While there, I talk to the Workers and Elder ones and spend time with them in Thoughts and Encouragements. As someone wanting to have deeper conversations, I get into their heads asking about the strengths and weaknesses of their Community, the Hardships of their homeland and the Battles they face. I share my knowledge, especially since I am from the States, one of the fountains of knowledge for the Good Book. In return, they help me see the Good Book in ways I have never seen. To me, this is much more important than seeing old tombs, temples or even experiencing the Wonders of His Creation. I have never felt unloved or unwelcomed by the Family in any place I have been (over 10 countries and 30 cities in the Americas, Eastern Europe, Russia, Southeast Asia and New Zealand). They help me with lodging, food and give great tips on what to see and avoid. Although I understand how this can lead to the “1000 miles wide, one inch thick” problem, I would never think of staying in a new city without knowing if a Family meets there.
A close community in my home (home = where I live), is one where I can join an intimate Family. To continue the analogy, if a travel community means visiting my second cousin once removed, a close community means living with my parents/siblings/wife. When I visit my extended family I learn more about my genes and family history, but when I spend time with my close immediate family I learn about myself. We share our dreams, our goals, our trials and our hopes. This requires trust which comes in time.
Attitude is the most important part of developing a community. Having a plan to stay helps develop trust. It is difficult to develop a close community by flying in and out. I have seen workers who wanted to “experience China” so they could go home and have great stories to tell. I came to become part of the close Community in Ningbo and succeeded when I told them I was staying for another year. How can I work to develop a close loving relationship with someone when I look forward to leaving and possibly never seeing them again? At the same time, having a plan to leave will help the transition. I have told everyone here my intentions. Although they are sad to see me leave, I know they appreciate that I have stayed so long and have plans to return. I did not “experience China” and am returning to my normal life. By giving advanced warning I have given us incentives to make the most of time. Leaving Ningbo in July to return to graduate school will be very hard on my emotions even though I know I am preparing for my future.
Read what He said in Mark 10.28-31. I am fully convinced he is talking about the Family. I have “mothers” in every country I have visited. I have “brothers” in every country, too. Do not neglect the Great Network. It is the most obvious way to find a community as you travel. But hooking into a close Community where you live will help you fulfill Heb. 10.24. Stay as long as you want, but remember there are many more waiting to be part of the family. Spread the Love.
Good thoughts, guys.
Joe, you mentioned whether democracy is christian or not...I submit that that should be a discussion topic.
Further, I insist that we all must be drinking tea while reading, writing, or commenting on this blog. All in favor, say "aye."
...the "aye's" have it.
Allison and I are on the road now heading to Portland. We're stopped in Rock Springs, WY tonight. Two nights ago, approaching OKC, we were locked in a conversation about whether democracy is Christian or not.
So on the one hand, democracy acknowledges that all people are equal and have the same rights that should be equally protected, seemingly a Christian idea. On the other hand, democracy gives power to people as a mass and people as a mass don't produce good unless they are guided by God. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying a monarchy or a totalitarian regime would be more Christian. I am merely trying to look at this idea of democracy in a new way apart from the way that my democratic education taught me to look at it. China programs its students to hate capitalism. But reading 1984 in school programmed me to hate totalitarianism. There's no question in my mind that totalitarianism is wrong and that scares me because there's no question in the minds of Chinese students that capitalism is wrong. T.S. Eliot and C.S. Lewis both as they aged became more and more conservative, almost reactionary, and supported the crown in England. I don't think God is democratic. He rules us without our "representation". He is authoritarian. We submit wholeheartedly to his authority. A good lionhearted king like Aslan would be a better figure to represent this design on earth than democracy. You might say, well, democracy is the best that we humans can come up with, far better than entrusting power to one person who could much more easily be corrupted.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, then has the American population been corrupted by its power? Have we abused other countries without ourselves admitting it?
I love the idea of democracy. But I want to make sure its worthy of love.
So as far as comments go, I hear Thomas, after several years in the same place, hesitating to say he has community, Graham seeing community not clipped by travel but bigger than travel when its within the Family, and Jimmy pushing for balance. Jesus is not a fair example in this discussion though because he got his deepest community to travel with him.
I would love for us to be able to set down specifics about what communities do and how to make them. That is, before the month ends and we move on to Nic's topic.
The function and importance of community has always been a tricky subject for me, and I think it's because I'm not really sure what community looks like.
Growing up, I would always look at community as an association based on simple things held in common: the school I work at is a community of sorts, as is the church I go to, the bands I play in, and the town where I live.
And even though these are communities in their broadest sense, their functions are all vastly different. My school's purpose is to teach students skills, perspectives, and values. My town's purpose is to provide its residents a safe living environment (police and fire dept. for protection, water and waste service, etc.) My bands' functions are to entertain people and (sometimes) make a li'l money.
So under this definition we have a series of functional labels - I'm a CAC Mustang; I'm an Arkansan, etc. The trouble with viewing communities this way is that defining community as a group of like-minded or like-situationed people fails to take into account relationships. Without this aspect, a community is reduced to the same level as, say, a Facebook group for people who dip their french fries in their Frosty.
True communities, I believe, are relational, dependent upon the cooperation of all of its members to achieve its purpose. It goes beyond the realm of "Hey guys it would be pretty neat if we all dressed the same way okay?" and into the realm of connecting human beings in thought and action.
What do you guys think?
In response to what Allen said, I agree. I think community must be more based on relationship than what is held in common. Many of my deepest relationships are with people who are different from me in significant ways. However, I also aree that meaningful community develops as a result of a cooperative commitment (I think this is how i would explain Christian community).
In response to Joe, this democracy issue is something I've been thinking a lot about. I hate to be the cynic, but I think we've been so conditioned with propaganda that we're not in a position to make an objective judgment. I like democracy, but it seems to me that it is no less prone to corruption (and perhaps even tyranny?) than other forms of government.
It just occurred to me today that the word community is so ridiculously close to communicate. So to answer my own question, community is just the noun form of language. At the basic level, community is just reaching out. Community is the space between people. It's the formation of the formless insides of cognitive beings.
It's so ingenious that Jesus is called the Word in John. He is the basis of community. God's communication with us is Jesus. The weight of this realization settles onto talk and writing for me. They both take on deeper meaning.
This blog is community. Literature is community. Education is community. Art is community.
Now that I have fixed my computer and am able to join in this community I want to go back and throw my support behind Allen. And offer my skewed/cynical/existential views
Allen, I agree.
But I want to expand.
Community is a label that we like to use because deep down we know there is something meaningful to that word. Even the language used in this discussion points out that fact.
We discuss community and "TRUE" community. In the end, we all know what is meant by both words, because deep down we all have the same dissatisfaction with the initial definition we are given. We all have a longing inside that goes beyond simply finding like minded people. So we split the word, and assume one function of the word is less significant. We confuse the connotation and the denotation.
We've devised two meaning for the same word, one that is a superficial label and one that conveys an emotional attachment. In reality it is one and the same. The label is not to be discarded simply because it does not stir the very depths of our beings.
Community is a broad word used to describe a general relationship. It incorporates all aspects of relationship friends and strangers, from macro to micro. We here are a community because we are all in the "tea night" discussion, but we are also a part of the bloggspot community, and past that the internet community, and past that the world community. But, we are not a part of those communities simply because of what we have in common.
There is no need to separate community and "true" community; they exist in the same realm. We don't want to believe that world community is “real” community because we don't "feel" the community, because it's not personal to us. We feel insignificant in the world community. We feel powerless. We don’t feel included. We will never see our personal affect on that community.
Community isn't about having things in common, or having a relationship with people. Those are all things that occur in a community but they are not what community is.
Community is simply a group of people that are AFFECTED by the same thing. It doesn't matter if you all buy your clothes at Old Navy or Hot Topic, nor whether you are a Republican or Democrat. When the World shakes we all feel it and we are bound together friend and stranger alike because of it.
At its base form community is a defense mechanism for survival. “United we stand divided we fall.” Community is people uniting over things big and small to insure their survival physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Now I know that seems cynical but it really depends on how you look at it. If you take my definition and separate it as a third definition of community then it is heartless and cynical. But when you realize that “true” community does exists because of that base drive it’s actually a beautiful thing. It’s a drive that unites us. That bonds us together with the entire World. We are a part of something bigger than our selves. We are included because of the struggles we all face. Each of us bound together in our suffering (how existential). It’s about everyone helping everyone else regardless of personal relationship to them, but simply helping each other because we are all affected by an event. (It’s why heroes and villains ally in stories) We are all in need, as a very intelligent woman once told me, that IS our commonality. That’s the “true” community we all seek, unconditional love and acceptance based solely on the fact that we are in “this” together. In the end all our fates are the same. If we must suffer lets do it together. If we suffer together the let’s be friends :D
(Hah, I just realized I’m both a cynic and an idealist.)
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